7

Yesterday Lila and I took a birthday snack up to Brendan's school. This was a big deal for a few reasons.

1. Brendan was excited to share a treat with his class

2. Lila loves going to his school and being a "big girl"

3. We were actually going somewhere that did not involve some sort of doctor. Those had been our only outings for the past several weeks.

Brendan was in all his glory with his special birthday crown, sitting at the special desk at group time, having his mom and sister in class (first graders still love their mommies! Wonder how many more years this will last?), handing out his treat, and being first in the game they played.

He had a huge grin on his face the entire time. At home he regards Lila as "ugh Lila". At school it was "wow my sister!!!" Complete with hugs. He was so proud of her. She also was able to play the game.

Side note...she told me she is ready for school because she sat like a big girl at the table and was quiet.

I had another proud mom moment and I can handle a third child. Look how sweet they are right now. This was much needed after my hormonal rage on Tuesday where I yelled at Jason, then Brendan, then cried for 30 minutes about both, and then the school called and I cried to the secretary on the phone (about being hormonal...lucky her), and then yelled at my mom when she stopped over. My best day ever...

Back to Brendan. I am glad they have birthdays in January so they can have these special days at school. It was also in the 50's which was an unexpected surprise. Today it is back to normal. Cold, windy, and snowy. Of course I forgot my camera so I was unable to get any of his special day. Oh well. Images all in memory.

We were only there about 30 minutes and the absolute best part was when his teacher read a book they had made for Brendan's birthday. Each student drew a picture of what they would get him if they could give him anything. Most wanted to give him Xbox and Wii items:). There was one though that is just so sweet. They all know he loves birds. All his stories are about birds and he takes a bird book to school each day.

Cue hormonal tears. Luckily not at school though!

The eve of your birth...

Brendan.

You came in like a whirlwind 7 years ago. I was just 30 weeks pregnant and began having crampy pain. My doctor assured me all was fine and to drink lots of water and rest.

Come to the hospital if it doesn't stop he told me...

Well indeed it did not stop and to the hospital we rushed. I do not remember much of the drive but I do remember standing in the E.R. behind a woman who was obviously drunk and had no clue where she was. I just stood in pain waiting for them to notice me. I was scared and concerned. They saw me and got us to the triage room.

Here they assured me I was just dehydrated and in need of some fluid because I was contracting every five minutes. Let's get you rehydrated she said and check you to make sure.

You'll be home before you know it the nurse told me...

Well that check shocked everyone because I was 6 cm dilated. A quick ultrasound showed you were head down and ready to come out! We indeed were not going home. They moved us to room and I was told I would be in until you were born and they moved quickly to try and stop my labor. I was given a steroid shot for your lungs and magnesium sulfate to stop the contractions. Daddy was so helpful to hold my throw up bowl (m.s. makes you hot and nauseous) and my bed pan because I was not allowed out of bed. Now that is love:). Once it all calmed down, I was told to get some rest

Call us if you feel dripping or a gush of fluid...

Well I guess you can figure out what happened a few hours later. I woke up and felt a trickle. I ignored it. Then I felt another trickle so I called the nurse. She came in to check if it was amniotic fluid with some cotton swab looking thing and said if it turned black it was indeed amniotic fluid. It turned black quickly and my doctor was notified and we were told that we were having this baby. They checked again and I was 8 cm and my water was broken. I started contracting again and was given an epidural.m the room quickly filled with my doctor, a resident doctor, my nurse, NICU staff, etc... There were a lot of people. My nurse asked if we had any birthing classes and I told her no. She told Jason to count and me to push as he counts. 5 second lesson:)

The baby will be very small and will probably come right out. Be prepared for a baby not breathing and not being able to see him before he goes to the NICU...is what they told us....

Again we were surprised when it took 90 minutes for your skinny little body to come out. You were sunny side up as they called you and since you were so tiny they would not use anything to help guide you out. Once you emerged you were pink and crying. A wonderful surprise for all of us. They quickly moved into action and we were allowed to kiss you and name you, Brendan Paul, before they rushed you out of the room.

You came into this world like a whirlwind, yes, and we are blessed that we have gotten these extra weeks with you. You are still a whirlwind and often tell me you came earlier because it was boring in me, it was dark, and there was nothing to do.

You are busy, active, and loud. You run when anyone else would walk. You are smart. You still love to cuddle. Sports are by far your favorite activity. You love birds and birding. I often joke that you are like an 80 year old man because you like to play Bingo and look for birds. You wake up in the morning and ask to watch ESPN to check out the scores and you will watch any sporting event on television.

Happy 7th Birthday Brendan...We love you so much!!!

Her special day

I sat and wrote a whole post and then deleted the entire post. After I typed the last word. Awesome.

Here is the short recap...

She basically had her very special day and got to make all the choices. Like she tries to do everyday except we said yes to her. We sang Happy Birthday to her about 20 times and she kept exclaiming she was three!

When I put her to bed that night (after reading a bunch of books and singing princess songs and shouting Rapunzel-style...This is the best day ever!). She asked me in her sweet little voice,

"Mommy tomorrow I will be 5?"

And then the pictures...

Three!

Oh Lila

I am sitting here writing this and thinking back to three years ago. I was not even in labor yet at this time (written night before...January 24th). We had no idea that early the next morning we would be blessed with a precious little angel.

Your daddy swore up and down that he would not be wrapped around your little finger. I am hear to tell you that, in fact, you do have him wrapped around your littlest finger. If he hears you cry he is quick to ask your big brother what he did and it is usually you that instigates:). Also if you were to mention this to daddy he would deny everything I just wrote...

Your personality lights up a room. You have a way with making others smile. You love singing songs and dancing. You love Dora, Minnie Mouse, Caillou, and a dozen other shows. You love playing with your babies and having tea parties. You also love to be loud and crazy!

You are so ready to be a big sister. You are constantly asking to see the baby and feel it move. You like to put stickers on the baby and sometimes band-aids when my tummy hurts. I know you will be the best helper and you have already decided who does what job. You keep saying I am having a sister baby but that you will still love a brother baby.

You make us smile more each day.

You make us laugh more each day.

You came at the perfect time for our family and have brought us so much joy these last three years.

We are so blessed that you are ours.

Love you Lila

The coveted 35/35

I reached another pregnancy milestone! 35/35!

This means I am now 35 weeks and there is 35 days to my due date!

I was skeptical back in the beginning of December when I started to dilate at 28 weeks and was put in the hospital for overnight observation and steroid shots for the baby. God has blessed us and kept me pregnant for these most vital weeks of growth and also out of the hospital.

This past week I have been having more pressure and more contractions. I kept telling the baby to relax and so far it has worked:). I need to have my restrictions lifted so I can begin preparing for this little one. Bed rest means no nesting allowed...almost there! I go to the doctor tomorrow and will be praying for good news!!!

I think I can do it

This has been the type of morning where I feel one more child might not be so tough. Brendan had the day off because of cold weather so we all got a little extra sleep. He has been so kind to Lila and they are playing together with no arguments. It is a bit a freaky.

Lila needed more milk and Brendan offered to get it for her. He let her pick the Wii game to play together. They keep hugging one another. I am able to get some of my last minute rest in on the couch. They played soccer, hide and seek, red light green light, and we made a scavenger hunt. All with no tears or complaining.

Right now it feels all sunshine and rainbows. We will have this baby and the kids will play nice like this all the time, be helpful without asking, and I will feel rested each morning...

Right. Even I know that is probably the furthest scenario from the truth of adding a third baby in to our family. Right now though. I am choosing to believe how easy the transition will be...

Sunshine and rainbows...

Week 3 (365 take 2)

Here is my third week installment of pictures taken from my couch:). One day I will look back and wish I had time to sit...

Day 13: Brendan decided he wanted pancakes for breakfast so he learned how to make them


Day 14: Brendan came home from school not feeling well and he wrote me a special note.

Day 15: This is the only picture I took. Lila wanting to cuddle and then steal my breakfast.

Day 16: 34 weeks! I made it to the magic week they told me at the office. If labor were to start then they would not stop it. My body proved it was getting ready by a few very uncomfortable days of pain and pressure.

Day 17: Lila being Dora and pushing her super babies around. She is acting out one of her Dora DVD's. (this is last picture...I forgot a day while going through my pictures)

Day 18: Family movie night! Jason got a redbox of Ice Age (the one that just came out) and the kids love it. Lila keeps asking for it for her birthday. Will have to call her aunt up again and make sure they can find it. She also asked for a bunny and a mouse. Pretend ones though:)

Day 19: Haircut day for Lila! She looks like such a big girl now with her new 'do.

All the pictures are at the bottom. It was loading weird and I am not able to switch it around.

Day in the life...bed rest edition

So I see a lot of these posts floating around and really what else do I have to do right now.

Wednesday January 16th...

7:05am...Brendan wakes me up early so he can do his breathing treatment and watch Sportscenter. I roll and try to get up. This results in a contraction/full bladder combo. Welcome 34 weeks!

7:25am...Treatment done and Jason is up. The boys get ready for the day and I go lay back down for a few minutes. Tonight is Jason's late night so Once he leaves it is all me until 9pm.

7:45am...Brendan is done with breakfast and dressed. We get his backpack ready and he plays for a few minutes.

7:55am...Lila is up now. She goes potty and asks Brendan 20 questions while he brushes his hair and teeth. He is slightly annoyed. I don't blame him.

8:00am...Lila asks to watch a movie and picks out a Little Einstein farm animal DVD.

8:10am...Jason and Brendan leave for the bus stop. Lila and I snuggle on couch.

8:25am...I get up to make breakfast. Pb toast and banana for Lila and pb bagel, yogurt, and other half of banana for me. Plus coffee because I like to think it gives me that morning boost.

8:45am...Lila still eating and watching Dora

8:50am...Lila decides she wants to cuddle with me in an attempt to eat my food.

9:00-11:00am...We watch the woodpecker out our front window, we play games on the iPad, we put stickers on one another, we watch Caillou, we play doctor, Lila reads me a story, and Jason calls on his way in between jobs.

11:20am...baby has hiccups and we watch my belly bounce. Baby then starts moving and jabbing at the same time. Makes for an interesting shaped bump. Baby must be comfortable now. Shifting ceases.

11:30am...Lila being a mommy because all I do is text?

11:35am...our little woodpecker friend is back and I am able to get a picture of him to show Brendan.

12:00pm-1:20pm...I fixed lunch for us and Lila watched Caillou and I read. After lunch Lila got dressed and we played Dora match before rest time. Our little woodpecker friend came back and we watched him for a few minutes.

1:30-4:00pm...got Lila down for nap and can now sit and not move for awhile. Which is what I am supposed to be doing but not always possible with a 2 year old. I check emails, play Words with Friends, and message back and forth with a friend. She also is a preemie mom and had a very scary and difficult first pregnancy. She is expecting their second and we have been sharing stories and advice with one another the last few days. I finally decide to take a shower and Lila decides to not take a nap. She also waits until I am in shower to yell and cry from her room. Early bedtime for her tonight! The baby decides to push its bum up into my ribcage. This is comfortable. I spend a few minutes trying to push it back down.

4:00-5:00pm...we drive to the bus stop for our afternoon outing. I call my mom and we chat until the bus comes. We get home with Brendan and we work on his math homework and then he is allowed to play on his Kindle. Lila and I read the library book he brought home and we notice the woodpecker is back and Brendan gets to see him.

Notice how they both have to sit right next to me:). Glad they love me so much!

5:30pm... Baby causing some discomfort still and really need to get these kids some dinner.


6:00pm-7:00pm...Dinner made. Brendan and Lila both helped. I start feeling cramps and a lot of pressure. I lay on the couch while the kids eat and this goes on about 45 minutes. I pray it stops and try to relax. Eventually it lessens. Thank goodness!

7:30-820pm...Get Lila ready for bed. She thinks it is funny to be goofy while changing. I sit and patiently wait for her to try and get herself dressed. Finally she is in bed and then Brendan and I do his reading homework and I eat my dinner while he watches college basketball.

8:30 and on...Brendan in bed and now I can rest on the couch for the rest of the evening. Ahhhh! Maybe with a treat too...

365: take 2

Here is the next set of my most exciting pictures for my 365 take 2 project.  I have been taking some with our camera as well.  I have not been  on our downstairs computer since we got our Wi-Fi working to upload any pictures.  Will eventually get around to that...

Day 6: Brendan's icicle...almost as tall as him

Day 7: Miss Lila not feeling well

Day 8: another photo from the couch

Day 9: Game time

Day 10: my husband's son for sure

Day 11: Movie night

Day 12: Going to a young birders meeting

Good conversations...

I had to take Lila this morning for a check on her displaced front tooth.  It was an exciting morning for both because we had an extra little outing (no changes at doctor yesterday so felt comfortable taking her myself) and Lila likes to charm everyone wherever we go.  In a matter of seconds in the office she had two new friends.

I got to talking with another mom and she had such positive words of encouragement for me.  She too had had a high-risk pregnancy and understood how difficult it is when you are limited in what you can do plus have other children to care for at home.  Then I talked with the recepectionist and she shared her struggles with me and then even the dentist understood because his wife had been in a similar situation.

I needed to hear these stories to know that others have been in this position before and get through it. I have just been so emotional these last few days because of the cramping/pressure, the relief that I had no changes, and all this darn time I have to do nothing but think about what I can't do.

I need to refocus and think that by sitting down I am giving this baby the gift of maturing and growing inside instead of the struggles of being born too soon.  Be thankful for my cautious doctors who have helped get me to this point, and the progesterone injections that help keep me pregnant.

My doctor told me yesterday that I need to rest for one more week and then I can begin adding back activities.  I am sure it will just be that I can be more mobile around the house and go visit with my mom or a friend.  Then once I am full-term all the restrictions will be lifted.  Hear that body...we have to keep this baby in so I can finally help get things ready!

Almost there....

Don't you love the stickers for the baby from Lila and all our laundry. Real life here. Happy 33 weeks:)

Pregnancy update

I realized I had not really done a weekly update in 4 or 5 weeks.  Honestly though when you are not allowed to do anything the updates would be a little repetive.  Oh here I am sitting on the couch again feeling pressure and the random contraction.  Nothing is regular and it has not progressed so it is what one of my doctors call a "cranky uterus".

My goal each week is to just stay pregnant for another week.  It got a little scary around 28 weeks when I dilated to 1cm and thankfully I have not dilated further.  I can definitely tell when I am on my feet too often at home and the pains start.  This just reminds that I am supposed to be sitting.  No matter how tedious it is to do basically nothing for weeks and weeks when you have two other children at home.

The holiday season was all kind of a blur since I started rest just before Halloween.  I still blame Brendan's owl costume for kick-starting the beginnings of the cranky uterus and the hours spent cutting felt feathers.  I hope he picks an easier bird for next Halloween...

Thanksgiving was spent at my mom's and I just sat there as well.  Same story for our few Christmas parties.  Sit, sit, and sit some more.  It worked since the baby is still bouncing around inside of me.

Now that January is upon us we have 2 birthday parties to plan for at the end of the month.  We think this baby is going to wait to makes its arrival around the other two.  Because why spread your kids birthdays out over a year when they can all be in the same week.  My sister picked 5 days after Brendan since Lila is 5 days before.  I am hoping to be off my restrictions by their birthday party so I can help do something.  I will be 35.5 weeks at that point.  Fingers crossed!

I am so thankful for the family and friends that have helped us out so much.  It is hard to plan for a sitter every single week and I have 2 good friends that offer all the time for Lila to come play while I go.  My mom and great aunt have also helped out for these weekly visits.  Believe me...I tried taking Lila a couple of times and it is so stressful!  I do not have the types of kids that like to sit quietly...ever.  We constantly get remarks on how busy they are all the time.  We are lucky I guess that our friends even offer to help:)

(Side note...active kids are a great weight loss plan!)

I have also gotten a few comments about how it must be hard to just be sitting and how do I do it.  I can see if I had not had the experience with Brendan it might be more difficult to follow directions.  We had a preemie though and between the choice of sitting my butt for several weeks or not following orders and having another preemie...well really no option there.  My doctors thank me for listening because they said so many women don't and they stick them in the hospital just to make them stop.  A teeny tiny preemie is so much more stressful and horrible than not being able to do things around the house or be busy all the time.  So I sit.

My poor husband has to do the work of two.  I like to tease him sometimes because he takes doing most of the work so seriously.  Like he his a laundry speed demon.  Rarely do we have a full basket of laundry anywhere in this house.  I always tell him he is a much better housewife than I ever could be.  Luckily I can sit on a chair in the kitchen and get dinner ready or load the dishwasher so I am not completely helpless...until he yells at me to go sit back down...

So as of today I am 33 weeks!  Only one more week until my doctors breathe a little sigh of relief.

My stats as of late are the following...

Weight...I have gained a few pounds over last month and it puts my total about 20 lbs so far.

Size of baby...About the size of a jimica or 3.75 lbs and 17 inches (32 week)

Sleep...Once I fall asleep I am good.  Just need to be better about going to bed earlier.  Darn this IPad
 We have now and stay up late playing Words with Friends against each other..

Bump...As my brother so kindly stated a few days ago..."Wow!  You are getting big!"

Symptoms...The normal aches and pains and pressure.  Since I am already dilated and effaced and the baby's head is sitting right on top of my cervix every time I stand it feels like he/she is trying to come out.  Thankfully nothing as been strong enough to cause any other changes and they keep letting me come home to sit on my couch.  The last few days I have noticed increased pressure and cramps so we'll see tomorrow at my appointment.

Baby...Is doing wonderful as usual.  The heart rate has been steady around 150ish at each visit and he/she is jabbing, kicking, bouncing, and hiccuping normally.  The most active time is between 11:30-12:00(midnight) which is why I am also up so late.

Highlight of week...We now have a new and non-expired infant cars eat and a new outfit for the baby.  My mom sent the baby a little gift in the mail for him/her to come home from the hospital in.

What I hope for...stay pregnant to February!

Sorry for this ridiculously long post...I have been writing it for three days:)

Random facts of bed rest

...it is very easy to become envious of other women who have problem-free pregnancies

...you get to know your doctors on a more personal level being that you see them every week for your entire pregnancy

...you talk way too much to the staff at the doctors office since it is your only outing of the week

...you feel like a useless blob while you sit and watch your husband do most of the housework

...you feel tired all the time from doing nothing

...you feel bored from sitting

...you get to read a lot of books

...you watch a lot of tv

...you have an excuse to just wear comfy clothes all day everyday

...the highlight of my day is driving to the bus stop in the afternoon

...I love the morning because it is my "active" time. You know like make coffee and breakfast for Lila and myself before we assume our couch potato positions.

...I need more lounge pants

...your moving belly is a good source of entertainment as is your 2 year old

...bed rest is much easier when it is not your third child. I thought it was hard the first time with one child.

...it is easier when you are at home and not stuck in the hospital for observation

...you know all of your neighbors schedules because you sit and look out the window all day

...it is winter now and I feel like a bear hibernating. It will make winter seem like it is speeding by since it will be February before I can be active again.

...at least it is not summer when Jason works crazy hours and is never home

...the view from my couch. At least there is sunshine today

...I could go on and on and on but will stop my list here

365 Project (take 2)

I tried this last year and only made it partway through the year. Now that I can take a picture and post it with the same device I am going to try again. Because let's face it...otherwise it would never ever happen.

Day 1: sunshine in our living room

Day 2: 32 weeks!!!! This was one of my goals with this pregnancy. Next up 34...stay put baby.

Day 3: How are days are spent on the couch...

Day 4: It is good to have your own personal doctor

Day 5: An empty box, nerf guns, and some imagination

Week 1 of the new year complete! I know my mom will love these pictures since we cannot get together as often as we used too. Meaning like multiple times a week:). Enjoy!

What a year can bring...

If you would have told me last year at this time that I would once again be on bed rest and awaiting the birth of our third child...I would have said you are crazy.  A third child was not in our plans right now.  "Our" plans rarely go as we plan.

2012 was an interesting year where I learned a lot of things that I necessarily didn't need to know.  Sometimes I feel ignorance is bliss on certain things.  It made me look at others a little differently and wonder if some people are really there for you.  I also learned that sometimes you need to simply disconnect and refocus.

It was also a year to realize once again that cancer is a nasty disease and it strikes when you least expect.  I just keep thinking of my three cousins who have to go through the pain of losing a parent so young.  I am thankful they have a strong support system with family and friends.  It makes a huge difference to have others to lean on.

I also started my Thirty-One business to give me some time to be me again. My family and friends have been so supportive in making it such a success for me. I have no aspirations to move up and build a team. A few parties a month works out perfect for our family. It has allowed us this year to save more and do extras that before weren't in the budget. Our goal was to save for a little family vacation and we made that happen in August when we traveled to Niagara Falls, Ontario. The last couple months I've had to slow down my business with this pregnancy and just await later this spring when it picks back up again.

Brendan started first grade and is literally growing up before our eyes. He asks us crazy things like if he and Lila can stay home alone. Don't worry he says...I'll watch her. He had a full year of sports, birding, and over all not sitting down ever. He still likes to cuddle and give hugs/kisses and I wonder how long this stage will last with his 7th birthday approaching.

Lila is Lila. She went from a baby to a big girl overnight. She potty-trained herself in about one day, moved out of her crib, and started acting like a teenager. Her favorite phrases are "Just a minute" and "I don't know" which she uses frequently every day. She has a sassy attitude that is probably causing my hair to gray faster and literally cannot wait to be a big sister. It is like she was meant to be one her whole life:).

Hears to a fresh start to the New Year. Enjoying every moment everyday...ok maybe most moments.