It is hard to believe how much your life can change in just a few short moments.
One minute you are getting off a plane after a week long cruise with your best friend and you find your brother at the airport waiting for you. He lets you talk the entire ride home about your vacation. He nods and smiles and never once did I know that some life-changing stuff was going to happen once we got home.
"Marie sit down. I have some bad news."
Words I'll never forget.
"No I won't sit down. I'm just going to stand."
Is what I responded with.
"It's Dad. He's in the hospital. He came home. He has cancer."
What???
When I left on my trip with my friend, my dad was working overseas in Hong Kong. Little did I know that he was trying to gather the strength to get on a plane for that 16+ hour flight back to Michigan because he had been diagnosed with small cell lung cancer. This same cancer would overtake his body and he was only with us for a few more weeks. It went so fast.
Even now I look back at the last eight years and think how fast it has gone. I try to picture what life would have been like if he was still with us. It is too painful to wish that though. He's home with his family and friends and looking down on us.
Every so often I will have a dream that my dad is in. Usually something silly that is forgettable after you wake up. I always remember that he is in it though and he will give me a hug. That is the most special part of the dream. It lets me know that he is still with us in spirit and that comforts me so much.
I know I will forever cry at weddings during the Father/Daughter dance because I didn't get that dance with my dad. I pray so much that Lila and Jason will be able to share that moment together.
I know I will never be able to get rid of the skiing reindeer pj pants because they were my dad's. I just realized that I am wearing them right now.
I know that I'll never be able to spend that $100 bill he gave me right before he died. He felt bad he was so sick so he gave me spending money. He loved to buy stuff.
I know I'll cherish the letter he wrote me from Hong Kong. I have it on my nightstand and read it every once in awhile.
I know that with each passing year my heart is full of love and peace that this day and tomorrow will always be hard. No matter how many years have passed.
I know that the sorrows in life are there so you can also experience the joys.
I love you dad and think of you always.
(sorry for making you cry mom...love you too)
Friday, March 30, 2012
Love at first sight
Who knew you could purchase two of the sweetest and most adorable babies for $10?
Our neighborhood friends just got two baby ducks. They are about the cutest things I've ever seen. They are soft and fuzzy and follow you around the yard.
At one point I sat down on the ground and the little ducks waddled up to me and climbed onto my lap and tried to snuggle with me. They are lucky I didn't put it in my pocket and run home.
Speedy and Squeaky are what they were named. They were both speedy and squeaked a lot. Plus they are gender-neutral since it is unknown if they are boy or girl ducks.
Until next time little ducks...
Our neighborhood friends just got two baby ducks. They are about the cutest things I've ever seen. They are soft and fuzzy and follow you around the yard.
At one point I sat down on the ground and the little ducks waddled up to me and climbed onto my lap and tried to snuggle with me. They are lucky I didn't put it in my pocket and run home.
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| do you like my sock/sandal look? Putting shoes on seemed like wasted effort |
Week 12 (365 project}
The first week of summer I mean spring
March 18
March 18
Cousin hug!
March 19
March 20
March 21
March 22
March 23
March 24
Game night with friends. This is the first time all the kids sat quietly and watched a movie. It lasted about 10 minutes:)
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Week 11 {365 project}
March 11
Breakfast after church
March 12
Brendan's level reading book from school
March 13
Hula-hooping on a nice day
March 14
Chasing the backyard squirrel
March 15
Mother/son dance. Doesn't he look thrilled:)
March 16
Lila and her babies
March 17
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
The time I turned 6 shades of red
My friend and I decided to take our two kindergarten boys to a Mother/Son dance a couple of weeks ago. We got dressed up and enjoyed the fact that it was in the 70's out in mid-March. The boys were excited to hang out and be loud and crazy. We figured we better enjoy it now because a few years down the road they will not want to go to a dance with us. (We were pleasantly surprised to see many older boys with their moms!)
The gym at the local building was decorated for St.Patrick's Day, there was a dj with lights and video screens, lots of cookies, popcorn, water, and punch. The perfect set-up for our highly energetic boys! They ran and danced. Yelled and jumped. They found the padded wall to be the most enjoyable part of the event. Who doesn't like to run full speed at a padded wall?
Our group was called for the professional photograph that was included with the ticket price. We wanted to go quick before they got dirty or sweaty (the gym was HOT). We stood in line and filled out the information on where to send our 4x6 picture and if we wanted to spend another $15 or $20 on a photo package.
Brendan was getting antsy waiting in line and kept trying to put his arms around my legs. This would be fine if I had pants on. But no, I'm wearing a sundress. So he thinks it is funny to try and pull it up. I kept removing his hands and telling him how inappropriate he is behaving. Do you think he stops? No. He giggles at me. I had both of his hands in mine and asked him again to stop. Which he finally does, only to lay on the floor and try to look up my skirt and announce to a room full of people,
"Mommy, why aren't you wearing any underwear?" (Insert 6 year old giggling)
The lady in line behind me was silently laughing with her eyes closed. At least I was around women who probably hear things like this all the time and not at the grocery store or church.
Moral of story: Always make sure to have visible panty lines while wearing a dress with a 6 year old. If people look then they will know for sure you do in fact have your underwear on.
The gym at the local building was decorated for St.Patrick's Day, there was a dj with lights and video screens, lots of cookies, popcorn, water, and punch. The perfect set-up for our highly energetic boys! They ran and danced. Yelled and jumped. They found the padded wall to be the most enjoyable part of the event. Who doesn't like to run full speed at a padded wall?
Our group was called for the professional photograph that was included with the ticket price. We wanted to go quick before they got dirty or sweaty (the gym was HOT). We stood in line and filled out the information on where to send our 4x6 picture and if we wanted to spend another $15 or $20 on a photo package.
Brendan was getting antsy waiting in line and kept trying to put his arms around my legs. This would be fine if I had pants on. But no, I'm wearing a sundress. So he thinks it is funny to try and pull it up. I kept removing his hands and telling him how inappropriate he is behaving. Do you think he stops? No. He giggles at me. I had both of his hands in mine and asked him again to stop. Which he finally does, only to lay on the floor and try to look up my skirt and announce to a room full of people,
"Mommy, why aren't you wearing any underwear?" (Insert 6 year old giggling)
The lady in line behind me was silently laughing with her eyes closed. At least I was around women who probably hear things like this all the time and not at the grocery store or church.
Moral of story: Always make sure to have visible panty lines while wearing a dress with a 6 year old. If people look then they will know for sure you do in fact have your underwear on.
 |
| (Ignore all the nonsense around Brendan and I. This is the only picture I have off the two of us that he isn't making a weird face) |
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Week 10 {Project 365}
Better late than never...
March 4
March 4
March 5
March 6
March 7
March 8
March 9
March 10
Monday, March 26, 2012
Hi mom!
Hi Mom! I know you've been wondering why I haven't been blogging...
Ok maybe you haven't.
Ok maybe you haven't.
- The past couple weeks have been very busy with all the prep work for the Mom2Mom sale, my 31 party, bringing my laundry to your house, and enjoying this summer weather in March.
- I haven't even gotten my 365 day pictures up. I still take them. They are just on my camera still.
- I spent some time at Brendan's school twice reading with his class. These kindergartners are just too sweet and they love the chance to share stories with me. His teacher is very appreciative to have help come to the classroom. Brendan still wants me to hold his hand and gives me hugs and a kiss in front of his friends. This won't last forever so I have to take advantage of it now.
- Lila is still Ms. Sassy pants. She bit Jason yesterday because she was pretending to be a lion. She told me,"Lila daddy ow. Lila out." Meaning she had to sit in time out. She spends a lot of time here:)
- This is a hard week for my family b/c it is coming up on the anniversary of my dad passing away from lung cancer. It will be 8 years on Saturday. His cancer spread fast and I have always been thankful that he didn't have to suffer long.
- There's some other stuff floating around in my head. I just don't want to talk about it on here. I also love when people write those things and it is like, "Why did you even bother if you don't want to talk about it?"
- I told my mom I was going to start writing strange facebook statuses just to see what people comment on. I'm fascinated with some of the things people will post and what they are thinking. Sometimes I want to comment on them and ask if they know everybody can read what they are writing. She found a good picture on Pinterest that was basically, "i hope someday you live the life you portray on facebook"
- That's all I got for today...hopefully soon I'll get my new pics/videos up of the kids. I have some good ones.
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Full Moon
Yesterday (well last week now) both the kids were out of whack. We had a beautiful day with temperatures in the 60's. Lila and I went for a walk and played outside. We enjoyed the fresh air and then went in to have lunch. She flat out refused to eat expect for a couple bites of banana. She shook her head no and kept saying "No want to mommy." Typical 2 year old.
Fast forward to getting Brendan off the bus and the kids were out of control that afternoon/evening. Yelling, fighting, hitting, meltdowns. You name it. We just figured they were tired and they both went to bed early. I talked with a friend that night and she asked how the kids were doing.
My reply "Crazy with a capital C"
Her reply "Well it is a full moon."
Enough said. I knew that is what it was causing my kids to act crazier than normal. I remember dreading the full moon when I was teaching. You would have a whole classroom of out of whack 3/4 and 4/5 year olds.
Thankfully the full moon phase has passed and the kids are back to their "normal" crazy.
Fast forward to getting Brendan off the bus and the kids were out of control that afternoon/evening. Yelling, fighting, hitting, meltdowns. You name it. We just figured they were tired and they both went to bed early. I talked with a friend that night and she asked how the kids were doing.
My reply "Crazy with a capital C"
Her reply "Well it is a full moon."
Enough said. I knew that is what it was causing my kids to act crazier than normal. I remember dreading the full moon when I was teaching. You would have a whole classroom of out of whack 3/4 and 4/5 year olds.
Thankfully the full moon phase has passed and the kids are back to their "normal" crazy.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
The unexpected
Life is funny sometimes. You think everything is going smoothly and then BAM. It catches up with you and shows you that it can change at the drop of a hat.
This has happened a lot recently to many important people in my life. A lot of people would say "Why me?" or "Can it get any worse?" These people in my life are dealing with their struggles with a lot of faith, hope, love, and support. They are all amazing and I am proud to have these strong women to look to for how to handle a situation.
Remember to support those who are struggling, pray for their healing, and help out in anyway you can. You never know when you might be the one who needs it in return.
This has happened a lot recently to many important people in my life. A lot of people would say "Why me?" or "Can it get any worse?" These people in my life are dealing with their struggles with a lot of faith, hope, love, and support. They are all amazing and I am proud to have these strong women to look to for how to handle a situation.
Remember to support those who are struggling, pray for their healing, and help out in anyway you can. You never know when you might be the one who needs it in return.
Monday, March 5, 2012
Breathless Bride: Dying to Live
I came across this show the other night on TLC and quickly text my mom. This young girl (who had Cystic Fibrosis) was planning a wedding and waiting for a double lung transplant. She is only 21 years old and was given 6 months to live unless she received her life-saving transplant.
They showed her everyday life with her fiance as they planned their wedding. They showed her struggles with her CF, the pain she was in, how hard it was for her to go out, and the exhaustion she felt after an errand. She had an amazing support with her family and friends and such a great attitude despite her struggles. She ended up in the hospital days before her wedding with a life-threatening infection and pulled through because she was determined to walk down that aisle.
I cried through this entire episode. It was an actual portrayal of someone who is listed for a double lung transplant and how hard it is for them. You saw her struggling to breath and the pain her poor lungs were in because of the CF.
It hit close to home because my mom is currently listed for a double lung transplant. She has a different disease (Pulmonary Fibrosis caused by mold) that is at the end stage. A lung transplant is her only option to get better. She stays active, keeps her faith strong, and tries to stay positive. I know how frustrating it is for her to have to be dependent on oxygen and worry she has enough when she goes out. The struggle to walk from her car to a store or an appointment. The anticipation each time her phone rings.
She also finds the joy in every situation. Whenever we go to the store and I have my kids and Brendan helps drive the motorized cart or how people act if they see someone in a wheelchair. We just have to laugh and pray that God gets us through. He has a plan and we just have to see how it unfolds.
She had a false alarm last summer. So now we are just waiting again for "Go Time: Part Deux" and hoping and praying her time comes soon!
Love you Mom:)
They showed her everyday life with her fiance as they planned their wedding. They showed her struggles with her CF, the pain she was in, how hard it was for her to go out, and the exhaustion she felt after an errand. She had an amazing support with her family and friends and such a great attitude despite her struggles. She ended up in the hospital days before her wedding with a life-threatening infection and pulled through because she was determined to walk down that aisle.
I cried through this entire episode. It was an actual portrayal of someone who is listed for a double lung transplant and how hard it is for them. You saw her struggling to breath and the pain her poor lungs were in because of the CF.
It hit close to home because my mom is currently listed for a double lung transplant. She has a different disease (Pulmonary Fibrosis caused by mold) that is at the end stage. A lung transplant is her only option to get better. She stays active, keeps her faith strong, and tries to stay positive. I know how frustrating it is for her to have to be dependent on oxygen and worry she has enough when she goes out. The struggle to walk from her car to a store or an appointment. The anticipation each time her phone rings.
She also finds the joy in every situation. Whenever we go to the store and I have my kids and Brendan helps drive the motorized cart or how people act if they see someone in a wheelchair. We just have to laugh and pray that God gets us through. He has a plan and we just have to see how it unfolds.
She had a false alarm last summer. So now we are just waiting again for "Go Time: Part Deux" and hoping and praying her time comes soon!
Love you Mom:)
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Week 9 {365 project}
Our week 9 in pictures! I'm excited to see what March brings us. Hopefully some more warm temperatures and sunny skies. It sure "blew" in yesterday with 50+ mph wind. Plus we had a bonus day this week with Leap Day!
February 26
My niece's birthday party. She is turning 6 and is the second of the three "babies" to turn 6. (My sister, sister-in-law and I were all pregnant at the same time)
February 27
In Lila's words "Lila's juice. Mommy's juice"
February 28
The only picture I took this day and it was right before bedtime. Lila was hiding in her "jewee" tent.
February 29
Leap day we were treated to some icy and cold weather.
March 1
Jason and I went out to a nice dinner alone. Our booth had a television. So this is what we watched while dining on our dinner. Wheel of Fortune followed by Jeopardy.
March 2
Signs of spring in our neighborhood! The robins are back!
March 3
The kids playhouse usually sits to the left of the garage and is hidden by the fence when I look out the kitchen window. The wind pushed it across the driveway and took my wind chime with it (on the ground next to it).
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Brendan's blog
Brendan wanted to type:
is the it i in brendan mom dad lila
6+8=14
5+4+1=10
9+10=19
7+3=10
8+0=8
7+4=11
1+30=31
100+900=1000
800+300=1100
300+9=309
900+6=906
7*6=42
3-2=1
5-0=5
6-4=2
10000+1=10001 (he said this is one hundred billion. little off brendan)
got stop zoo
This is the random nonsense that goes through my 6 year old's head. Word wall words from school and math. He added and subtracted all these on his own. The multiplication he used a calculator.
is the it i in brendan mom dad lila
6+8=14
5+4+1=10
9+10=19
7+3=10
8+0=8
7+4=11
1+30=31
100+900=1000
800+300=1100
300+9=309
900+6=906
7*6=42
3-2=1
5-0=5
6-4=2
10000+1=10001 (he said this is one hundred billion. little off brendan)
got stop zoo
This is the random nonsense that goes through my 6 year old's head. Word wall words from school and math. He added and subtracted all these on his own. The multiplication he used a calculator.
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